A personal reflection on my journey in the pursuit of meaning

Ansh

  • back from the dead

    back from the dead

    Thursday 12th December ’24

    Man, what the fuck happened to me. I don’t even know what happened; I just stopped trying after the third post. I was too busy the day after my previous post and before I know it I am in December in a foreign fucking country being all depressed about my life. This past month I have been feeling hopeless and have gotten back into my vices. I have been the unhappiest I have ever been and now think that I am at the lowest point of my life. Well you know what they say, once you hit the bottom the only place to go know is up. But knowing me I will probably find a way to dig myself a new hole to fucking cry in. Well lets just say it I am a fucking porn addict and it has taken over my life. I don’t know how to get rid of it and I have been trying everything but nothing seems to work for me. I don’t even know why I have been putting this off but I can’t be asked to talk about this any longer, I will talk about it more in detail another day.

    On another note, I am in India right now for my cousin’s wedding and it is quite nice. The weather and the food are both good, but I guess because of this I haven’t been able to enjoy myself fully. So from today I am going to promise myself that I will at least try to make an effort to post her everyday, because I do truly believe that this is the answer to a lot of my problems.

    Anyways, I am done talking, I got to go to sleep I will see you tomorrow.

  • Bend It Like Beckham

    Bend It Like Beckham

    1h 52m

    2002

    Gurnider Chadha

    7/10

    This film provides a great insight into British Indian culture in the early 2000s. It resonates with me quite a bit as it reminds me of my family and the type of people I have been surrounded by my whole life. The dynamic between Indian and Western life is nicely executed, and everything feels very natural and real. The movie is great fun to watch, with a ton of nostalgic songs to go alongside many sequences in the movie. I really did like the dynamic between Parminder Nagra and Keira Knightley, these two genuinely felt like two real friends. Overall, I think that this movie is a British classic and a must-watch.

    Acting 8/10

    Cinematography 7/10

    Plot 7/10

    Immersion 7/10

    Score 8/10

    Payoff 8/10

  • Eyes Wide Shut

    Eyes Wide Shut

    2h 39m

    1999

    Stanley Kubrick

    7/10

    I will be honest: I did not get this film initially. It has a lot of nudity and expletive scenes, which I don’t prefer, but I would say the plot was intriguing. I was invested the whole way throughout the film, and going along the ride with Tom Cruise to find out what the fuck is going on. I would say that I did not expect anything that was starting to happen throughout the film, which did leave me a bit startled. I didn’t like the payoff the film offered, however, as I was still left a bit confused after the film ended, even with a bit of reflection. I have heard from other people that I should give this film another rewatch to actually find out what is going on and see the stuff that is foreshadowed. I think I will have to do this before I do give it a concrete score, but so far I think that this movie is deserving of a 7.

    Acting 8/10

    Cinematography 8/10

    Plot 7/10

    Immersion 8/10

    Score 7/10

    Payoff 6/10

  • Reservoir Dogs

    Reservoir Dogs

    1h 39m

    1992

    Quentin Tarantino

    8/10

    I am a big Tarantino fan, so I might be a bit biased, but who isn’t. I think this is a great film for such a small budget. Even with the movie’s setting only taking place in one location, it still delivers a great storyline with a great twist at the end. It also isn’t a Tarantino movie without a big bloody ending and that is just what we got from this film, which I think was executed perfectly. It does keep you guessing on who the actual bad guy is and the film does not feel too rushed despite the very short run time. It gives us an insight into the different characters and their motivations and I felt as though every action done by each of the characters was natural and justified for their own motivations. The dialogue is great aswell, something that is common among Tarantino films, and does not make you feel bored during the longer dialogue sequences. The main beauty of this film I think, comes from what is not said. Even with the movie being very dialogue heavy there is so much you can pick up from the subtext of what is being said and the reactions of the characters. Overall, I do think that this is a must watch.

    Acting 9/10

    Cinematography 8/10

    Plot 9/10

    Immersion 8/10

    Score 7/10

    Payoff 9/10

  • Outlander

    Outlander

    1h 55m

    2008

    Howard McCain

    6/10

    This is a fun film to watch if you have the time. It has an interesting premise: a man from another planet crashes landing in the time of the Vikings. Its got quite a predictable plot, though, and the romance is expected and does not seem as natural as you would want it to be. I did, however like the chemistry between the male lead and his friend, and I think that their on-screen bromance was fun to watch and felt genuine at times. Overall, I do think that this is a good film to watch but is nothing special and can be easily missed. The cast is not that memorable and the story doesn’t really stick with you as the days go by.

    Acting 7/10

    Cinematography 7/10

    Plot 6/10

    Immersion 7/10

    Score 5/10

    Payoff 6/10

  • Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge

    Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge

    3h 9m

    1995

    Aditya Chopra

    10/10

    A classic must watch Bollywood film. The chemistry between Kajol and Shah Rukh Khan is incredible. The movie retains your attention from the beginning to the end with the notable songs and iconic scenes. This movie is filled with memorable quotes and scenes that will stay with the viewer long after the movie is over. After the movie ended I was left wanting to see more of Shah Rukh and Kajol together. The movie is long but the plot has so much substance that I did not find it a drag at any point and was left wondering at the end on where did the time go. Amrish Puri really embodies the role of the father and serves as a great antagonist against the couple, he is not hated as you understand his motives and his stern atmosphere definetley rubs off on the viewer. This is a go to comfort movie and I urge everyone to watch it. The songs are all iconic and memorable and serve as a great backdrop to the film. This is just a bloody good film.

    Acting 10/10

    Cinematography 9/10

    Plot 10/10

    Immersion 10/10

    Score 10/10

    Payoff 10/10

  • Tears of the Sun

    Tears of the Sun

    2h 1m

    2003

    Antoine Fuqua

    8/10

    I think that this is a great movie that is often overlooked. It was a great watch and the cast is great. This movie showcases the brutal regimes in Nigeria and how they are suffering at the hands of them. I enjoyed the action sequences and didn’t feel bored or tired watching the film; however, I think the payoff could have been better with the deaths of the militants. Overall though, I think that it is a great movie and worth the time to watch.

    Acting 8/10

    Cinematography 8/10

    Plot 8/10

    Immersion 8/10

    Score 7/10

    Payoff 7/10

  • Orphan

    Orphan

    2h 3m

    2009

    Jaume Collet-Serra

    8/10

    i think that this is a great horror movie to watch with a great plotline, something that a lot of horror movies lack. The acting is great from all the characters especially the children. Isabelle Fuhrman steals the show as the orphan, her acting is great and beliveable and does send chills when watching her. Vera Farmiga has to be mentioned aswell as without her I think this movie would be missing an essential part. The scenes are tense and the twist in the end was not expected at all. Overall, this is a must watch for any horror fan.

    Acting 9/10

    Cinematography 8/10

    Plot 9/10

    Immersion 9/10

    Score 7/10

    Payoff 8/10

  • Escape Plan

    Escape Plan

    1h 55m

    2013

    Mikael Håfström

    8/10

    This is a fun film to watch. Its got Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger and seeing them two on screen is always a joy to watch. I really enjoyed seeing the action sequences and the way the escape plan was hatched, nothing seemed too over the top and took you out of the story. The villain was also great and memorable to see. It was a great film to see and a must watch.

    Acting 7/10

    Cinematography 6/10

    Plot 8/10

    Immersion 8/10

    Score 5/10

    Payoff 8/10

  • Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara

    Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara

    3h 25m

    2011

    Zoya Akhtar

    10/10

    This is a must watch film. The acting is amazing, eah character brings something unique to the table with their own stories and it is great to see their individual stories unfold. The chemistry between the three friends feels real and it seems as though we are given an insight into a real old friendship that is filled with history. Each friend’s story tackles a seperate issue and it is great to see how they all intertwine with each other individually. The cinematography is great for this film and the songs are catchy. There is a lot of heart in the film and the way the romance unfolds feels so down to earth and organic. The film’s poetry is also great and catches what the viewer is feeling at that particular moment. The casting was done perfectly for this movie and I cannot imagine anyone else in the shoes that the actors fill. Overall, this is a must watch film.

    Acting 10/10

    Cinematography 9/10

    Plot 10/10

    Immersion 10/10

    Score 9/10

    Payoff 10/10